On my 25th birthday I laid in bed next to my sleepy husband and thought to myself,
“… where has the time gone and how did I get here.”
Usually this thought hits people when they are 40, but for me this sobering moment hit me at 25. My mind went wheeling though the checklist of all the things I thought I would be/have achieved at 25, and somehow I came up short.
Where is this fit, sexy, success designer women who looks chic and cool all the time?!
Coffee, sunshine, and Jesus solve a lot of problems. That morning Zak and I sat together in the sun and drank coffee on our half furnished balcony. He confessed having those same thoughts every birthday. We laughed.
There is something beautiful about being content. And today as I write this blog that is where I sit. Content. It’s a feeling and a mindset I fight for each and every day.
In our marriage we have a lot of meetings together, anyone that knows Zak knows that this is his love language. In our meetings we reevaluate our priorities, where we are spending our time, talents and money. Less TV-more dreaming. Less shopping-more giving. I fall short on many of these goals, but the more we come back to them the easier it gets to achieve them. We are at the age we are ready to consume and compare, get bigger houses and better cars. It takes every bit of our energy to come back to our goals and keep fighting for this life we’ve dreamt of.
Small living. Big dreams.
Over the weekend we drove west to Texas hill country, as we rolled down the windows, turned up the music and drove into no man’s land I thought to myself, this is 25.
Zak said to me, “I feel like I am finally dreaming in color.”
My business is far from where I want it to be and I am still not sure it will ever get there, but what I do know is that the process is part of the joy, and that the Lord wants us to be and feel fully content; dreaming along side Him and what He has planned for us. What I do know is that in Him I am able and capable. I do enough, I have enough, I am enough.